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This is not Christian!

I don’t follow country music, but while reading a recent rant I was prompted to click on the video of Carrie Underwood’s latest theological treatise in song. Since I knew she was the artist who brought us the brilliant and profound “Jesus take the Wheel” I knew her latest admonition in spiritual song would be equally as edifiying. (Since the medium of blogs does not allow for vocal inflection and facial expression, I must tell you the previous sentence contains more sarcasm than is alloted for an entire year in most eastern European countries.)

I do not actually expect doctrinal depth in any popular song, much less a great degree of Biblical accuracy from a country singer. Even with my low expectations I was appalled by the religion masquerading as Christianity that gushed from Carrie’s lips. So you will know what I am cranked about, here are the lyrics of the song:

He said, “I’ve been where you’ve been before.
Down every hallway’s a slamming door.
No way out, no one to come and save me.
Wasting a life that the Good Lord gave me.

Then somebody said what I’m saying to you,
Opened my eyes and told me the truth.”
They said, “Just a little faith, it’ll all get better.”
So I followed that preacher man down to the river and now I’m changed
And now I’m stronger

There must’ve been something in the water
Oh, there must’ve been something in the water

Well, I heard what he said and I went on my way
Didn’t think about it for a couple of days
Then it hit me like a lightning late one night
I was all out of hope and all out of fight

Couldn’t fight back the tears so I fell on my knees
Saying, “God, if you’re there come and rescue me.”
Felt love pouring down from above
Got washed in the water, washed in the blood and now I’m changed
And now I’m stronger

There must be something in the water
Oh, there must be something in the water

And now I’m singing along to amazing grace
Can’t nobody wipe this smile off my face
Got joy in my heart, angels on my side
Thank God almighty, I saw the light
Gonna look ahead, no turning back
Live every day, give it all that I have
Trust in someone bigger than me
Ever since the day that I believed I am changed
And now I’m stronger

There must be something in the water (amazing grace)
Oh, there must be something in the water (how sweet the sound)
Oh, there must be something in the water (that saved a wretch)
Oh, there must be something in the water (like me)
Oh, yeah

I am changed (I once was lost)
Stronger (but now I’m found)
(was blind but now I see)

Where do I begin? How about the first verse. A little faith and everything will get better. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Faith is not about life getting better. Genuine Christian faith has the very real potential of making your life much more difficult. If you live Godly in Christ Jesus, you will suffer persecution. Not one single promise of the New Testament offers a better life when you turn to Jesus for salvation. None. God promises forgiveness, strength, peace, joy and eternal life, but not ease, comfort, happiness or success.

Apparently Carrie believes salvation is a lot like Montezuma’s revenge. Get the right water and all your problems run away. The god virus will infect your system and give you great feelings of love and acceptance. Either that, or she believes in baptismal regeneration- that being baptized saves you. Frankly, I hope she believes she became infected by a water born parasite. I much prefer the idea of her proclaiming the benefits of her new internal friends to her spouting a load of unbiblical, anti-gospel nonsense that promises forgiveness by a dunking.

What is really atrocious about this song is that her version of God, salvation and Christianity is idolatrous. She is acting as a high priestess of the same religion spewed by Oprah, Osteen, Hinn and thousands of so called Christians across the nation. Though it claims to be Christian and uses a lot of the same words, her religion is not Christianity. The god who takes away your problems, makes you happy, gives you ecstatic feelings and prospers your life is not the god of the Bible. The gospel of greater comfort and ease is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. This rubbish is believed by millions of Americans, and it is not truth.

This is the gospel of personal gain. There is nothing amazing about the grace offered by this gospel. It’s a temporary promise of stuff that will fall apart, crumble, rust and be taxed into non-existence. There is nothing sweet about the salvation offered. It is a false salvation, a more comfortable journey into hell. This gospel is passing out pillows and blankets to the passengers as the plane plummets to the ground. This is a horrific, diabolical salvation that makes damnation easier to accept. This kind of Christianity is a farce, a mockery of the truth and should not be promoted, accepted or coddled. This is not Christianity, it is “anathema maranatha”.